I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
