I only kidnapped one of them. chill
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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