I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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