Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
