Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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