Pants 0. Shit 1.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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