i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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