I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
