how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
