My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
