I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
