So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
