Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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