We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
