Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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