Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
