just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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