Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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