I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have tasted many bathrooms
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
