There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
