remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
