in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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