does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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