what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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