I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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