i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
