The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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