Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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