Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize