they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
