still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
