i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
