I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
