big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
