its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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