I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
