I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
