At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
