is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
