His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
