porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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