oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
