Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
