I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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