I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
