You made me cry and you don't even care
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
