let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
