Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
