I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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