I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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