I must be too annoying 4 u.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
