either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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