Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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