you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
