...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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