I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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