Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
