yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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